Posted: October 11th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | 1 Comment »
Join the Wait... What?! Campaign today, and stand up for equal rights!
Did you know your friends can be fired in 29 states, just for being gay? Surprised? So are lots of folks; equal rights are farther from reality than many of us would like to believe.
Today is the annual celebration of National Coming Out Day. Thousands of people across the country are standing up for their gay friends’ rights. You can add your voice by turning astonishment into action.
Join the Wait…What?! social media campaign to learn some surprising facts and let your friends know that you support them.
Through viral sharing on Facebook and Twitter, thousands of new voices will chime in to bring attention to equal rights issues like employment and housing discrimination. The movement has made great strides over the past year, year with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the passing of the marriage equality bill in New York, but there’s still much more to be done!
Friendfactor Founder Brian Elliot explains the campaign like this:
Not everyone realizes the full extent to which their gay friends are not equal: they can legally be fired and evicted in 29 states just for being gay. In 32 states, there’s zero protection from the law when gay friends are bullied. My straight friends are shocked when they learn these things, and we know other straight friends will be too. We believe there’s a tremendous opportunity to engage these friends and accelerate the pace of change for their gay friends.
With one share on Facebook or Twitter, you can join the team of celebrities — including Adam Lambert, Ke$ha, Cyndi Lauper, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho and Wendy Williams — who are standing up.
Take Action: Join the campaign and share a surprising fact to stand up for your gay friends. The more eyes we can get on these facts, the faster we can fix what’s broken.
Posted: October 10th, 2011 | Author: Friendfactor | 3 Comments »
Many thanks to our very first Guest-Blogger!
Sarah Powers is a freelance writer and mom of two. She lives in Arizona and blogs at Powers of Mine.
One of the objectives behind this here Friendfactor blog is to help straight friends of gay folks lighten up a little. Don’t worry about not knowing what to say or asking a silly question. Just say something, or go ahead and ask, and if it’s done in the spirit of friendship, it’s all good.
Usually well-meaning adults have these kinds of hang-ups in the first place because we’re worried either about hurting someone’s feelings or about looking stupid ourselves. But if there is one demographic who I can promise you does not give a crap about looking silly or making someone else uncomfortable, it’s KIDS.
Show me a preschooler and I’ll show you at least one parent who has experienced the agony of loudly stated observations like, “Mommy! That lady has a baby in her tummy!” (when ‘that lady’ is a stout 55-year-old) or “Hey! Is that guy a football player?” (because he happens to be black) or “Is that a man or a lady?” (and you’re not actually sure of the answer yourself).
As a parent in these moments, it’s easy to want to shove the nearest handful of goldfish crackers into the mouth of your precious offspring. I believe, though, that while doing so saves on a little short-term embarrassment, it also deprives both child and parent of a valuable opportunity for discussion.
Here are some ideas for parents and friends of curious little minds on how to answer kids’ questions about gay friends and family members (or just your average same-sex couple holding hands on the street):
- Make it okay to ask. Always. No matter how inappropriate or embarrassing the comment or question (Hey! That lady is dressed like Daddy but she has huge boobs!), answer it. Yep! Isn’t it cool how men and women have so many choices about how they dress and who they hang out with?
- Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: October 4th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
Not just for unattended luggage.
If you’re trying to figure out what to do when a co-worker tells inappropriate gay jokes at your office, the first thing you should know is that you’re not alone: 58% of gay people report hearing these things at work. Whether you hear someone directly disparaging another person because of their sexuality, or work someplace where phrases like “that’s so gay” are used to mean something is bad, you’re working in a hostile environment. Comments like that are a big reason why 51% of gay and trans folks aren’t out at work: it doesn’t feel safe. But you can help.
Anyone can take steps to discourage harmful behavior like this, and good friends like you do. These gay jokes are really no different than someone making derogatory remarks about race; you’d want a friend to stand with you in a situation like this, too.
Here are some tips on what you can do when you hear co-workers making gay jokes:
- Say something. The moment you can make the biggest difference is right when you hear the offensive comment being made. Make it clear to your co-worker that their language is hurtful and would make a gay person feel uncomfortable, and that it isn’t ok. Or simply state that what was said isn’t appropriate in a work setting.
- Get in touch with HR. Although 29 states lack workplace protection for gay folks, your company probably has an anti-discrimination policy. Even if there’s nothing in writing that specifically addresses homophobic comments, your boss or HR department has an interest in making the company a safe place for all employees. Especially if you’re not comfortable saying something to the jokester yourself, this is a great way to make sure the incident doesn’t go unaddressed.
- Let your gay co-workers know you have their backs. Regardless of what you’re able to say in the moment or get the company to do to address the issue, it makes a big difference for the gay folks in the office to know someone else heard what happens and wants things to change. If you’ve taken any action, tell them, and in any case make it clear that you’re there if they ever need back-up.
- Make a bad situation into a learning opportunity. Your co-worker who made the joke probably deserves the benefit of the doubt; they might not know or understand why what they said was hurtful. Explain that calling something “gay” when they mean “bad” implies that gay IS bad, and how that must make gay folks in the office feel. Let them know that what they may have thought was good-natured teasing can actually be very hurtful to someone; it’s not fair to pick on anyone just because of who they are.
Straight friends have the ability to make a huge difference in situations like these. If you can call your peers out, it makes a powerful statement that gay jokes aren’t just an issue for gay people: they’re an issue for anyone who cares about a gay person. Anything you can do makes your workplace feel that much safer for gay employees, whether they’re out at work or not.
Take Action: “Like” and share this post so all your friends will know what they can do if they ever hear a gay joke at work. Together we can make the world a safer place for our gay friends.
Posted: October 3rd, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
With the recent rash of teen suicides as the result of bullying, helping out gay friends has been on a lot of people’s minds. The good news is, there are lots of great organizations, each staffed by dedicated and caring folks, which are giving their all to make the world a better place for all of our gay friends. There are great gay resources out there, and you can help connect the dots.
In this post, we’ll highlight some national organizations you may find useful. Many have local chapters as well; click through below to find resources near you, if that’s what you need. The full list is below the jump – here are a few you may be looking for urgently.
“Trevor” is a fantastic organization that provides gay and trans youth with information, help, and support. If your friend considering hurting themselves or even taking their own life, get them on the line ASAP. Their suicide prevention hotline can be reached at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).
PFLAG has local chapters around the country which run support groups for parents and others who are struggling with the sexuality of a loved one. Want to find one? Just click through. Great for friends who want to be supportive or parents who need a crash course and others to talk to.
- If your friend has experienced discrimination just for being gay, and needs legal advice: Lambda Legal.
This national org works for equal rights throughout the country for gay folks, as well as those with HIV/AIDS. Lambda can hook you up with legal services when you and your friends need them. Gay resources when your friend’s in a bind.
Below the cut: International advocacy, hate crime prevention, trans resources, and more.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: September 30th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
The Friendfactor blog may have been quiet this week, but the world of gay news certainly was not! (We promise, the radio silence will be worth it… keep an ear out in early October… ) Here’s your weekly cheat-sheet to catch you up for the weekend. In this edition: mostly stuff about TV. But lots of different kinds of TV!
Sports fans with gay friends can do a mighty big wave for this story: The NFL has added language to their anti-discrimination policy to protect folks from harassment based on sexual orientation! The league has made the move quietly, slipping the new protection in with the slew of other changes that came at the end of a collective bargaining marathon in the past few weeks. Homophobia in sports is, unfortunately, a pretty widespread problem. So we’re glad to see such an influential group taking steps to say it won’t be tolerated. Did you know there are currently no out, gay professional athletes in football, basketball, hockey or baseball in the US? Maybe this move will change things.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: September 23rd, 2011 | Author: Crystal | No Comments »
Want to know the freshest news your gay friends will be talking about this weekend? Look no further! You’re a few short blurbs away from seeming super tapped-in with the world in which your friends live. This week: the world doesn’t end when gay folks serve openly in the military, the freedom to marry receives bipartisan and overseas support, and SQUID. Yeah, that’s right, the octopus’s punchier cousin, right here with the other gay news for straight friends on the Friendfactor blog.
The country's now with the ACLU: No!
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Posted: September 22nd, 2011 | Author: Dinah | 2 Comments »
Jamey Rodemeyer, victim of gay teen suicide
We see all too many stories of gay teen suicide cases in the news. This one is particularly horrifying. Jamey Rodemeyer was only 14 years old when he took his own life this week, after being relentlessly bullied for who he was. His story is all the more tragic because his struggle with this issue was so public: he wrote regularly on his blog about other students teasing him for having girls as friends, and even made a video for the It Gets Better Project (you can watch it here).
It feels like once these stories hit the news it’s too late to do anything; a life has been lost to bullying, and there’s no way to bring it back. But a bunch of big players are banding together to fight gay teen suicide. They’re calling it “The Stop Bullying: Speak Up Social Pledge App.” A bit of a mouthful, yes, but also a way to for you to join a movement to prevent more tragedies like losing Jamey:
The Stop Bullying: Speak Up Social Pledge App is an interactive tool that enables educators, parents and teachers to commit to end bullying by signing an online pledge and recruiting others to join them.
Leveraging the resources of [Facebook and Time Warner], the social pledge app will be promoted across multiple platforms, from Facebook to CNN, Cartoon Network, and magazines such as TIME and Sports Illustrated.
The app is meant to be a one-stop resource with practical information about bullying prevention, with recommendations on how to respond in specific situations along with opportunities to share personal experiences, and information from non-profits and government groups involved in the cause. The app also encourages the creation of school-based bullying prevention groups on Facebook.
While the hope is that young people will download the app, the online tool is also targeted at bystanders–those who witness an act of bullying.
(via AllFacebook.com)
Kudos to the celebs and companies who are throwing their efforts into this, and let’s hope it helps. Still, it’s going to take a lot more than a well-branded app to change hearts and minds across the country so kids like Jamey feel accepted. Ending gay teen suicide will take a massive effort from all of us; this could be the start of that effort, truly.
Take Action: “Like” the Facebook page for this app now, and keep an eye on the Friendfactor blog: we’ll keep you updated on this, and other initiatives to prevent gay teen suicide.
Posted: September 20th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | 4 Comments »
“Repeal Day” celebrations are being held across the country in honor of the U.S. lifting its ban on gay military service today, Tuesday September 20th, 2011.
The former policy, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” was originally intended as a compromise to allow gay citizens to serve, albeit from the closet (not a place I’d personally choose to fight a war from. You know, poor visibility and all). The result of the policy, however, was far from a victory for gay troops. Living in fear of being outed, these men and women selflessly serving their country were forced to hide their identities, despite their willingness to sacrifice so much.
There were also widespread allegations that DADT was used maliciously by service members who wanted peers or superiors kicked out for personal grievances — just the suggestion of being gay could ruin a military career. Count that as another big reason for straight friends to care about gay rights: legalized discrimination puts us all at risk.
After months of controversy over lifting the ban, reports from the military itself indicate the policy shift won’t be a disruption to operations:
Pentagon press secretary George Little said Monday that the military is adequately prepared for the end of the current policy… “No one should be left with the impression that we are unprepared. We are prepared for repeal,” Little said.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: September 19th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
There are still 29 states where there is no legal protection if you’re fired for being gay. Luckily for Tommy R. Bennet, Illinois isn’t one of them.
Bennet, who worked for Rev. Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow PUSH coalition, is now suing the company, claiming he was fired for being gay. If these allegations are true (and there’s no reason to believe they aren’t: it takes a lot of energy and courage to file this sort of complaint, and people don’t do so lightly), this case would be particularly disturbing. Discrimination is always awful, but to be discriminated against when working for a civil rights leader is extra shameful.
Bennett claims he worked for PUSH starting in July 2007, and was both an organizer and Jackson’s travel assistant.
Bennett claims he received a letter in December 2009, in which he was told he was being laid off due to a “lack of funding.” But Bennett alleges someone else was then hired to replace him.
A spokesperson for the Rainbow PUSH Coalition could not be reached for comment Friday evening. When Bennett’s allegations first surfaced in April, a spokeswoman said his claims were false and intended to harm Rainbow PUSH.
(via The Chicago Sun-Times)
The details of the alleged harassment are pretty galling too, but the most important point here is that Bennett has the right to seek justice for his claims. In 29 states, someone in an identical situation would not. For many of us who live in accepting environments or big cities, it can be hard to imagine discrimination taken to this kind of extreme. Especially in a bad economy, someone’s job can be everything, and to take it away simply on the basis of their sexual orientation should be criminal, as it is in the case of so many other types of discrimination. Spend a minute thinking about it: in 29 states, your friends could be fired for being gay. It’s terrifying.
Take Action: Share this story so more people know about the 29 states where their friends can be fired for being gay. The more we know, the more we can do about it.
Posted: September 16th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
Want to know the freshest news your gay friends will be talking about this weekend? Look no further! You’re five stories away from seeming super tapped-in with the world in which your friends live. This week: Don’t Ask, Don’t tell ends with a whisper (not a bang), hospital visitation rights, and Australian passports that let you choose the badass gender “X” instead of boring old M and F.
Read the rest of this entry »
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