Posted: October 11th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | 1 Comment »
Join the Wait... What?! Campaign today, and stand up for equal rights!
Did you know your friends can be fired in 29 states, just for being gay? Surprised? So are lots of folks; equal rights are farther from reality than many of us would like to believe.
Today is the annual celebration of National Coming Out Day. Thousands of people across the country are standing up for their gay friends’ rights. You can add your voice by turning astonishment into action.
Join the Wait…What?! social media campaign to learn some surprising facts and let your friends know that you support them.
Through viral sharing on Facebook and Twitter, thousands of new voices will chime in to bring attention to equal rights issues like employment and housing discrimination. The movement has made great strides over the past year, year with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the passing of the marriage equality bill in New York, but there’s still much more to be done!
Friendfactor Founder Brian Elliot explains the campaign like this:
Not everyone realizes the full extent to which their gay friends are not equal: they can legally be fired and evicted in 29 states just for being gay. In 32 states, there’s zero protection from the law when gay friends are bullied. My straight friends are shocked when they learn these things, and we know other straight friends will be too. We believe there’s a tremendous opportunity to engage these friends and accelerate the pace of change for their gay friends.
With one share on Facebook or Twitter, you can join the team of celebrities — including Adam Lambert, Ke$ha, Cyndi Lauper, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho and Wendy Williams — who are standing up.
Take Action: Join the campaign and share a surprising fact to stand up for your gay friends. The more eyes we can get on these facts, the faster we can fix what’s broken.
Posted: October 10th, 2011 | Author: Friendfactor | 3 Comments »
Many thanks to our very first Guest-Blogger!
Sarah Powers is a freelance writer and mom of two. She lives in Arizona and blogs at Powers of Mine.
One of the objectives behind this here Friendfactor blog is to help straight friends of gay folks lighten up a little. Don’t worry about not knowing what to say or asking a silly question. Just say something, or go ahead and ask, and if it’s done in the spirit of friendship, it’s all good.
Usually well-meaning adults have these kinds of hang-ups in the first place because we’re worried either about hurting someone’s feelings or about looking stupid ourselves. But if there is one demographic who I can promise you does not give a crap about looking silly or making someone else uncomfortable, it’s KIDS.
Show me a preschooler and I’ll show you at least one parent who has experienced the agony of loudly stated observations like, “Mommy! That lady has a baby in her tummy!” (when ‘that lady’ is a stout 55-year-old) or “Hey! Is that guy a football player?” (because he happens to be black) or “Is that a man or a lady?” (and you’re not actually sure of the answer yourself).
As a parent in these moments, it’s easy to want to shove the nearest handful of goldfish crackers into the mouth of your precious offspring. I believe, though, that while doing so saves on a little short-term embarrassment, it also deprives both child and parent of a valuable opportunity for discussion.
Here are some ideas for parents and friends of curious little minds on how to answer kids’ questions about gay friends and family members (or just your average same-sex couple holding hands on the street):
- Make it okay to ask. Always. No matter how inappropriate or embarrassing the comment or question (Hey! That lady is dressed like Daddy but she has huge boobs!), answer it. Yep! Isn’t it cool how men and women have so many choices about how they dress and who they hang out with?
- Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: October 4th, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
Not just for unattended luggage.
If you’re trying to figure out what to do when a co-worker tells inappropriate gay jokes at your office, the first thing you should know is that you’re not alone: 58% of gay people report hearing these things at work. Whether you hear someone directly disparaging another person because of their sexuality, or work someplace where phrases like “that’s so gay” are used to mean something is bad, you’re working in a hostile environment. Comments like that are a big reason why 51% of gay and trans folks aren’t out at work: it doesn’t feel safe. But you can help.
Anyone can take steps to discourage harmful behavior like this, and good friends like you do. These gay jokes are really no different than someone making derogatory remarks about race; you’d want a friend to stand with you in a situation like this, too.
Here are some tips on what you can do when you hear co-workers making gay jokes:
- Say something. The moment you can make the biggest difference is right when you hear the offensive comment being made. Make it clear to your co-worker that their language is hurtful and would make a gay person feel uncomfortable, and that it isn’t ok. Or simply state that what was said isn’t appropriate in a work setting.
- Get in touch with HR. Although 29 states lack workplace protection for gay folks, your company probably has an anti-discrimination policy. Even if there’s nothing in writing that specifically addresses homophobic comments, your boss or HR department has an interest in making the company a safe place for all employees. Especially if you’re not comfortable saying something to the jokester yourself, this is a great way to make sure the incident doesn’t go unaddressed.
- Let your gay co-workers know you have their backs. Regardless of what you’re able to say in the moment or get the company to do to address the issue, it makes a big difference for the gay folks in the office to know someone else heard what happens and wants things to change. If you’ve taken any action, tell them, and in any case make it clear that you’re there if they ever need back-up.
- Make a bad situation into a learning opportunity. Your co-worker who made the joke probably deserves the benefit of the doubt; they might not know or understand why what they said was hurtful. Explain that calling something “gay” when they mean “bad” implies that gay IS bad, and how that must make gay folks in the office feel. Let them know that what they may have thought was good-natured teasing can actually be very hurtful to someone; it’s not fair to pick on anyone just because of who they are.
Straight friends have the ability to make a huge difference in situations like these. If you can call your peers out, it makes a powerful statement that gay jokes aren’t just an issue for gay people: they’re an issue for anyone who cares about a gay person. Anything you can do makes your workplace feel that much safer for gay employees, whether they’re out at work or not.
Take Action: “Like” and share this post so all your friends will know what they can do if they ever hear a gay joke at work. Together we can make the world a safer place for our gay friends.
Posted: October 3rd, 2011 | Author: Dinah | No Comments »
With the recent rash of teen suicides as the result of bullying, helping out gay friends has been on a lot of people’s minds. The good news is, there are lots of great organizations, each staffed by dedicated and caring folks, which are giving their all to make the world a better place for all of our gay friends. There are great gay resources out there, and you can help connect the dots.
In this post, we’ll highlight some national organizations you may find useful. Many have local chapters as well; click through below to find resources near you, if that’s what you need. The full list is below the jump – here are a few you may be looking for urgently.
“Trevor” is a fantastic organization that provides gay and trans youth with information, help, and support. If your friend considering hurting themselves or even taking their own life, get them on the line ASAP. Their suicide prevention hotline can be reached at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).
PFLAG has local chapters around the country which run support groups for parents and others who are struggling with the sexuality of a loved one. Want to find one? Just click through. Great for friends who want to be supportive or parents who need a crash course and others to talk to.
- If your friend has experienced discrimination just for being gay, and needs legal advice: Lambda Legal.
This national org works for equal rights throughout the country for gay folks, as well as those with HIV/AIDS. Lambda can hook you up with legal services when you and your friends need them. Gay resources when your friend’s in a bind.
Below the cut: International advocacy, hate crime prevention, trans resources, and more.
Read the rest of this entry »
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