Join the Wait... What?! Campaign today, and stand up for equal rights!

Did you know your friends can be fired in 29 states, just for being gay? Surprised? So are lots of folks; equal rights are farther from reality than many of us would like to believe.

Join the Wait…What?! social media campaign to learn some surprising facts and let your friends know that you support them.

Through viral sharing on Facebook and Twitter, thousands of new voices will chime in to bring attention to equal rights issues like employment and housing discrimination. The movement has made great strides over the past year, year with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the passing of the marriage equality bill in New York, but there’s still much more to be done!

Friendfactor Founder Brian Elliot explains the campaign like this:

Not everyone realizes the full extent to which their gay friends are not equal: they can legally be fired and evicted in 29 states just for being gay. In 32 states, there’s zero protection from the law when gay friends are bullied. My straight friends are shocked when they learn these things, and we know other straight friends will be too. We believe there’s a tremendous opportunity to engage these friends and accelerate the pace of change for their gay friends.

Take Action: Join the campaign and share a surprising fact to stand up for your gay friends. The more eyes we can get on these facts, the faster we can fix what’s broken.

Sarah Powers is a freelance writer and mom of two. She lives in Arizona and blogs at Powers of Mine.

Not just for unattended luggage.

If you’re trying to figure out what to do when a co-worker tells inappropriate gay jokes at your office, the first thing you should know is that you’re not alone: 58% of gay people report hearing these things at work. Whether you hear someone directly disparaging another person because of their sexuality, or work someplace where phrases like “that’s so gay” are used to mean something is bad, you’re working in a hostile environment. Comments like that are a big reason why 51% of gay and trans folks aren’t out at work: it doesn’t feel safe. But you can help.

Anyone can take steps to discourage harmful behavior like this, and good friends like you do. These gay jokes are really no different than someone making derogatory remarks about race; you’d want a friend to stand with you in a situation like this, too.

Here are some tips on what you can do when you hear co-workers making gay jokes:

• Say something. The moment you can make the biggest difference is right when you hear the offensive comment being made. Make it clear to your co-worker that their language is hurtful and would make a gay person feel uncomfortable, and that it isn’t ok. Or simply state that what was said isn’t appropriate in a work setting.
• Get in touch with HR. Although 29 states lack workplace protection for gay folks, your company probably has an anti-discrimination policy. Even if there’s nothing in writing that specifically addresses homophobic comments, your boss or HR department has an interest in making the company a safe place for all employees. Especially if you’re not comfortable saying something to the jokester yourself, this is a great way to make sure the incident doesn’t go unaddressed.
• Let your gay co-workers know you have their backs. Regardless of what you’re able to say in the moment or get the company to do to address the issue, it makes a big difference for the gay folks in the office to know someone else heard what happens and wants things to change. If you’ve taken any action, tell them, and in any case make it clear that you’re there if they ever need back-up.
• Make a bad situation into a learning opportunity. Your co-worker who made the joke probably deserves the benefit of the doubt; they might not know or understand why what they said was hurtful. Explain that calling something “gay” when they mean “bad” implies that gay IS bad,  and how that must make gay folks in the office feel. Let them know that what they may have thought was good-natured teasing can actually be very hurtful to someone; it’s not fair to pick on anyone just because of who they are.

Straight friends have the ability to make a huge difference in situations like these. If you can call your peers out, it makes a powerful statement that gay jokes aren’t just an issue for gay people: they’re an issue for anyone who cares about a gay person. Anything you can do makes your workplace feel that much safer for gay employees, whether they’re out at work or not.

Take Action: “Like” and share this post so all your friends will know what they can do if they ever hear a gay joke at work. Together we can make the world a safer place for our gay friends.

In this post, we’ll highlight some national organizations you may find useful. Many have local chapters as well; click through below to find resources near you, if that’s what you need. The full list is below the jump – here are a few you may be looking for urgently.

• If you are concerned your friend might hurt themselves: the Trevor Project.

“Trevor” is a fantastic organization that provides gay and trans youth with information, help, and support. If your friend considering hurting themselves or even taking their own life, get them on the line ASAP. Their suicide prevention hotline can be reached at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).

• If your friend just came out, and their families are having a hard time understanding: PFLAG (Parents, Famlies, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays).

PFLAG has local chapters around the country which run support groups for parents and others who are struggling with the sexuality of a loved one. Want to find one? Just click through. Great for friends who want to be supportive or parents who need a crash course and others to talk to.

• If your friend has experienced discrimination just for being gay, and needs legal advice: Lambda Legal. 

This national org works for equal rights throughout the country for gay folks, as well as those with HIV/AIDS. Lambda can hook you up with legal services when you and your friends need them. Gay resources when your friend’s in a bind.

Below the cut: International advocacy, hate crime prevention, trans resources, and more.

If you have a gay friend outside the US and want to learn about their rights: All Out.
All Out is an internationally-focused organization devoted to raising awareness of, and fixing, mistreatment of gay and trans folks around the world. Join their list to learn how you can help people in the 76 countries where being gay is a crime.

If you want to stand up against hate crimes with your gay friends: Matthew Shepard Foundation.
Matthew Shepherd was the victim of a horrific hate crime in Wyoming in 1998; he was beaten and killed just for being gay. The foundation was started by his mom, Judy Shepard. Their aim is to “replace hate with understanding, compassion & acceptance.”

If your trans friend needs legal help: TLDEF.
The Transgender Legal & Defense Education Fund is a organization that seeks to promote equality for transgender persons, by providing public education, litigation, legal services, and community engagement. Right along with Lambda Legal, these are important folks to know if your trans friends ever need legal support, or just want access to educational materials.

If you want to help your friends get married: Freedom to Marry.
FTM is a campaign to win marriage equality nationwide by demanding public support for the issue be met by legal solutions. Freedom to Marry is working to overturn DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) and providing education for why equality is necessary for gay couples. They’re a great resource for the best way to talk about marriage issues with friends, legislators, and even on the internet. Pop over and sign their Majority for Marriage Pledge today.

If you want to get involved for your friends rights across the country: HRC.
The Human Rights Campaign is the largest civil rights organization that works to achieve equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans. The HRC provides with local and national information regarding LGBTQ issues. You’ll probably recognize their yellow and blue equality logo from bumper stickers all over the country.

If you want to learn about legal inequalities facing your friends: The Williams Institute.
If you’re interested in learning about legal obstacles facing your gay and trans friends, this is a one-stop-shop for reliable research. The Williams Institute is an organization dedicated to educating and informing in the field of sexual orientation law and public policy. Brought to you by UCLA Law, this fantastic resource can provide you with critical information on current issues facing the LGBTQ community.

There are countless other groups out there working tirelessly to keep your gay friends safe and sane, and help them achieve full legal freedoms too. If you don’t see your favorite here, please leave us a comment and we’ll try to include your org in round two.

Take Action: “Like,” share, and bookmark this post so you’ll always know where to turn to help your gay friends. Everyone needs to know about these resources. Spread the word.

Many thanks to awesome Ffriend Will Cheval Jr. for help with this post.

Sports fans with gay friends can do a mighty big wave for this story: The NFL has added language to their anti-discrimination policy to protect folks from harassment based on sexual orientation! The league has made the move quietly, slipping the new protection in with the slew of other changes that came at the end of a collective bargaining marathon in the past few weeks.  Homophobia in sports is, unfortunately, a pretty widespread problem. So we’re glad to see such an influential group taking steps to say it won’t be tolerated. Did you know there are currently no out, gay professional athletes in football, basketball, hockey or baseball in the US? Maybe this move will change things.

On channels besides ESPN, on the other hands, the state of gay folks on TV isn’t faring quite as well: GLAAD reports a decline in gay and trans characters across pretty much all networks. Fox gets the best marks, which is pretty unsurprising as it’s the home of Glee, which makes gay news every time a rerun airs at 3 in the morning. In all seriousness, the scarcity of gay characters on TV is a real problem: the world we see represented in our entertainment says a lot about our cultural values, and it can’t be good for gay kids to see so few people like them on the tube. The question you should be asking: we have gay friends, why don’t the characters on our favorite TV shows?

Also on the television (give me a break, it’s been a dreary, snuggle on the couch sort of a week), there’s been a whole lot of manufactured drama around the booing of a gay soldier who asked presidential candidate Rick Santorum a question at the GOP debate. Many sources are trying to downplay this show of ugliness against one of our brave men in uniform, saying that it was only a few rogue audience members responsible for the negative noises. Either way, we give President Obama props for pointing out the obvious: that disrespecting hard-working soldiers, gay or straight, is not a very American way to behave.

Stephen Hill, openly gay soldier booed at GOP debate (via TPM)

Let’s balance that out with some good gay news from the military: the Pentagon has given Chaplains the green light to marry gay couples on military bases. This advance comes soon after the much-celebrated repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the effective ban on gay folks serving in the military. Just as experts expected, soldiers are taking the changes to policy in stride. We’re glad to know the country’s commitment to taking care of military families is expanding to include gay couples, bit by bit.

Finally, here’s an action item so you can help raise awareness about the issues that face gay couples who can’t get married. Thousands of such couples are torn apart every year because the federal government won’t recognize their love and commitment. Filmmakers are working to tell at least a few of those families’ stories in a new documentary called Entry Denied. Click through to watch the heart-breaking trailer; you’ll also have the opportunity to fund the film’s Kickstarter campaign and bring production to the finish line.

The country's now with the ACLU: No!

Big news this Tuesday, as LGBT military personnel previously closeted under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” celebrated the formal repeal of the policy. Gay folks are now allowed to openly serve in the military. The Pentagon has made it clear that it is prepared and ready to handle the changes, and half a week in to the repeal there are no stories of operational disruption. 97 percent of the military (which includes about 2.3 million people) is now trained in the new law; and all branches of the military have updated their regulations regarding this policy.

This means that all recruits who were being investigated or discharged in accordance with the old policy will now be allowed to serve freely regardless of sexual orientation. Already, military recruiters are setting up booths at LGBT equality centers around the nation, and the Navy has even changed the terms of discharge of a WWII veteran from “undesirable” to “honorable,” allowing the gay vet to be eligible for military benefits. Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta heralded the repeal as upholding “equality, equal opportunity and dignity for all Americans,” and Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, proclaimed that with the new law “we are a stronger joint force, a more tolerant force, a force of more character and more honor, more in keeping with our own values.”

Celebrities applauded DADT’s repeal by flooding twitter with congratulatory messages, including lesbian talk-show host and comedienne Ellen Degeneres, who wrote: “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is officially over. It’s a good day. #DADT” Ellen also talked to Brad Pitt on her Wednesday show about his plans to stay unwed (to Angelina Jolie) until everyone has the right to marry whomever they chose, regardless of gender. Pitt voiced his support for equality by saying: “We live in this great country that is defined by our freedoms and equality and yet we allow this discrimination to go on every day. That’s not what we’re about. That’s not what makes us so great. And until that is reversed. I just don’t get it. It makes no sense to me. It makes no sense.” No sense, indeed.

In other exciting national news, as of Friday, September 23, the bill to repeal DOMA has bipartisan support with its first Republican co-sponsor, Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen from Florida. Rep. Jerrold Nadler, a Democrat from New York and an original sponsor of the Respect for Marriage Act, called Ros-Lehtinen a “tremendous ally in the world’s struggles for freedom and against oppression and discrimination.” Ros-Lehtinen’s move to join 124 House Democrats in support of the repeal further solidifies that the struggle for LGBT rights should be “a collective, nonpartisan effort that unites Americans behind a simple push for equality.”

As the United States takes steps towards marriage equality, the United Kingdom is also planning to introduce same-sex marriage before 2015, when the next general election takes place. Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone was delighted to announce that, “in March, this government will begin a formal consultation on how to implement equal civil marriage for same-sex couples.” While Britain currently has civil partnerships, sex-same “marriages” are still not legal.

And how about news from the deep sea? Evidence of same-sex mating in other species (i.e. non-human animals) has existed for a while now. However, scientists have found that Octopoteuthis deletron, a Pacific deep-sea squid that is about a foot long, displays same-sex mating behavior. The male Octopoteuthis mates nearly equally with male and female squid by shooting packets of sperm at the mating partner. These sperm packets then become embedded in the membrane of the squid, which, if female, will use them to fertilize its eggs (if male, the squid will just swim around with sperm stuck in its side). Although researcher Hendrik J.T. Hoving denied that the notion of “gay squid” is really relevant to human behavior, biologist Marlene Zuk suggested that there might be an evolutionary purpose to this mating behavior and that the squid “is not making a mistake. It’s not mistaken to deposit sperm with another male.”

Take Action: ”Like” and share this post so all your friends are in the know about the most important gay news. Show off your wisdom at a DADT repeal party this weekend!

Jamey Rodemeyer, victim of gay teen suicide

We see all too many stories of gay teen suicide cases in the news. This one is particularly horrifying. Jamey Rodemeyer was only 14 years old when he took his own life this week, after being relentlessly bullied for who he was. His story is all the more tragic because his struggle with this issue was so public: he wrote regularly on his blog about other students teasing him for having girls as friends, and even made a video for the It Gets Better Project (you can watch it here).

It feels like once these stories hit the news it’s too late to do anything; a life has been lost to bullying, and there’s no way to bring it back. But a bunch of big players are banding together to fight gay teen suicide. They’re calling it “The Stop Bullying: Speak Up Social Pledge App.” A bit of a mouthful, yes, but also a way to for you to join a movement to prevent more tragedies like losing Jamey:

The former policy, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” was originally intended as a compromise to allow gay citizens to serve, albeit from the closet (not a place I’d personally choose to fight a war from. You know, poor visibility and all). The result of the policy, however, was far from a victory for gay troops. Living in fear of being outed, these men and women selflessly serving their country were forced to hide their identities, despite their willingness to sacrifice so much.

There were also widespread allegations that DADT was used maliciously by service members who wanted peers or superiors kicked out for personal grievances — just the suggestion of being gay could ruin a military career. Count that as another big reason for straight friends to care about gay rights: legalized discrimination puts us all at risk.

After months of controversy over lifting the ban, reports from the military itself indicate the policy shift won’t be a disruption to operations:

Pentagon press secretary George Little said Monday that the military is adequately prepared for the end of the current policy… “No one should be left with the impression that we are unprepared. We are prepared for repeal,” Little said.

Last week, the Pentagon said 97 percent of the military has undergone training in the new law.

In preparation for Tuesday’s repeal, the military services have spent several months adjusting regulations to remove references to limitations on gay service. The lifting of the ban also will mean a halt to all pending investigations, discharges and other administrative proceedings that were begun under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” law.

Existing standards of personal conduct, such as those pertaining to public displays of affection, will continue regardless of sexual orientation.

(via The Washington Post)

In short, this is a landmark moment in the history of this equal rights movement. The ban on gay military service was a vestige of old, entrenched fears and misconceptions about what it means to be gay and what gay people can contribute to society. Experts are in agreement that the change won’t have any long-term negative impact on the military. It’s a perfect example of equality benefiting everyone: the armed services are already recruiting out gay cadets, meaning more qualified folks will feel comfortable taking these vital, admirable jobs.

There are still going to be bumps, to be sure. The lack of federal recognition of marriage for gay couples means trouble for partner and survivor benefits. Military folks unfortunately end up in the hospital more than the general population, and although visitation rights for gay couples are getting stronger, the system still isn’t reliably equal for gay and straight partners. Plus there’s the issue of legalized employment discrimination outside of the military in 29 states.

But this is a major, major step in the right direction. Let us hope that openly gay military service has a domino effect on the other rights our gay friends so badly need.

Take Action: “Like” and share this story to support the troops. All of them.

(And if you’ve got a story of a gay military member you’d like to honor, we’d love to hear about them in the comments!)

Bennet, who worked for Rev. Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow PUSH coalition, is now suing the company, claiming he was fired for being gay. If these allegations are true (and there’s no reason to believe they aren’t: it takes a lot of energy and courage to file this sort of complaint, and people don’t do so lightly), this case would be particularly disturbing. Discrimination is always awful, but to be discriminated against when working for a civil rights leader is extra shameful.

Bennett claims he worked for PUSH starting in July 2007, and was both an organizer and Jackson’s travel assistant.

Bennett claims he received a letter in December 2009, in which he was told he was being laid off due to a “lack of funding.” But Bennett alleges someone else was then hired to replace him.

A spokesperson for the Rainbow PUSH Coalition could not be reached for comment Friday evening. When Bennett’s allegations first surfaced in April, a spokeswoman said his claims were false and intended to harm Rainbow PUSH.

(via The Chicago Sun-Times)

The details of the alleged harassment are pretty galling too, but the most important point here is that Bennett has the right to seek justice for his claims. In 29 states, someone in an identical situation would not. For many of us who live in accepting environments or big cities, it can be hard to imagine discrimination taken to this kind of extreme. Especially in a bad economy, someone’s job can be everything, and to take it away simply on the basis of  their sexual orientation should be criminal, as it is in the case of so many other types of discrimination. Spend a minute thinking about it: in 29 states, your friends could be fired for being gay. It’s terrifying.

Take Action: Share this story so more people know about the 29 states where their friends can be fired for being gay. The more we know, the more we can do about it.

The U.S. military’s long-standing veiled ban on gay folks serving their country is set to end on this Tuesday, September 20^th. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is widely agreed to have been a policy failure, resulting in more soldiers being ousted than before it was put in place when the military had an all-out ban on LGBT people in the service. The generals tasked with overseeing the change don’t seem particularly worried about the effects of this change toward equality, and expect business to continue as usual next week. Furthermore, hundreds of veterans who had been ousted from the military due to their sexual orientations plan to reenlist. Nevertheless, opponents are still frantically trying to push back the date of the repeal, voicing concerns about unit cohesion or showers or something (all of which has been roundly disproved as issues in other countries’ inclusive militaries). Three cheers for good gay news: citizens who want to serve their country will now be able to do so openly and honestly, and bless them for their sacrifices.

Also in national news, hospitals participating in Medicare and Medicare now have to follow rules that protect the rights of hospital patients and make it easier for family members of patients to act on their behalf. This new guidance will also allow for same-sex partners of patients to be able to visit them during their inpatient stay and make medical decisions for them in the case that they have become incapacitated. Secretary Kathleen Seblius of the Department of Health and Human Services supported the enforcement of this new guidance by saying: “Couples take a vow to be with each other in sickness and in health and it is unacceptable that, in the past, some same-sex partners were denied the right to visit their loved ones in times of need.” To be sure, hospital visitations should be about the patients, not politics.

On a dourer note, North Carolina’s state Senate approved a bill on Tuesday, September 13, that would put the banning of same-sex marriage up to vote in May 2012. Although same-sex marriages are not legally recognized in the state, the proposed amendment would further prevent the marriage ban from being overturned on a constitutional basis. The amendment would not only affect same-sex couples, but unwed heterosexual couples as well — since all domestic partner benefits provided in the state would become invalidated. However, recent polling suggests that most of the public does not support this bill. At least 76 CEOs of local North Carolinian companies have signed a letter rejecting the amendment and upholding the rights of their LGBTQ staff members, and the NAACP condemned the amendment via an open letter to state residents:  “The NAACP strongly urges you to reject the so-called same sex amendment and any other present or future proposals of constitutional amendments that would permanently deprive any person in our great state of his or her inalienable rights.”

Finally, for a bit of international news: The Australian government will soon become the first to have passports with a third, indeterminate gender option “X” to lessen discrimination against transgender and intersex travelers. Intersex people are biologically neither completely male nor female, thus having a third option “X” would give them a choice to not have to choose a gender identity. This amendment to the passport will also allow for transgender Australians, who previously had to get a sex-change operation in order to change their gender, to choose to be listed as male or female with only the support of a doctor’s statement. This change to passport regulations would make it easier for transgender travelers, who are often detained and questioned at airports because their listed gender does not match their visual appearance.  As of last year, the United States also allows transgender citizens to choose their gender status without surgery.

Take Action: ”Like” and share this post so all your friends know the hip thing to talk about while breaking out our hippest fall sweaters!