Know your News: Ffriday Link Round-Up!

Want to know the freshest news your gay friends will be talking about this weekend? Look no further! You’re a few short blurbs away from seeming super tapped-in with the world in which your friends live. This week: the world doesn’t end when gay folks serve openly in the military, the freedom to marry receives bipartisan and overseas support, and SQUID. Yeah, that’s right, the octopus’s punchier cousin, right here with the other gay news for straight friends on the Friendfactor blog.

The country's now with the ACLU: No!

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The M Word: Why Marriage for Gay Couples is Front Page News

Gay marriage: you’ve read about it. Probably more than most other gay issues. Here’s why.

Gay or straight, we’ve all been brought up to understand that marriage is a central moment in our lives. Some folks may reject that premise in adulthood – and more power to them – but for a lot of us marriage is a major milestone, a change in identity to being a married person rather than still, in some sense, single. I’d put money down that you’ve put at least a little bit of thought into what your wedding might be like. Yes, you. But on top of all this cultural and spiritual meaning, marriage is an important legal status. Being married affects more parts of your life than you can shake a stick (or bouquet) at.

The freedom to marry is a big, big legal disparity to tackle for gay couples, but there are also lots of other incredibly pressing things that need to change in order for gay and straight folks to be equal under the law. This other stuff – employment discrimination, lack of housing protections, and second freedom from violence to name just a few – is vital for the health and well-being of gay Americans, and groups around the country are fighting for equality. Gay marriage is news largely because it’s an emotional issue. Love is a wonderful thing to rally around (getting fired for being gay is a real downer in comparison to potential weddings), plus there are 1,100 rights and protections associated with marriage. Your gay friends need them.

Marriage is the ultimate goal – not domestic partnerships or civil unions (more on these after the cut), and the Federal government and 44 states don’t recognize a gay couple’s right to marry. It has to change.

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Gay dad can’t leave his kids with his husband OR ANY OTHER MAN, because discrimination makes no sense.

Imagine being half a decade past a difficult divorce. Imagine you’ve happily remarried, and finally feel you’re in a place to request a change in custody arrangements so you can spend more time with your kids. Now imagine a judge not only denying your request for more family time, but ruling that from now on your kids can’t be left alone with your new spouse, their legal step-father. This nightmare is happening to a gay dad, William Flowers, in Houston.

William and Jim were married on March 19 of last year in Connecticut, one of seven states which recognize same-sex unions. It was a second marriage for both.

When William and his ex-wife divorced in 2004, they agreed that their three children would live with her. Wanting to change the arrangement, William recently filed for custody in Harris County. A jury found that she should keep the kids, though his regular visitations would continue. Neither William nor his ex-wife alleged that the children had been abused or were in any danger of being abused.

Following the trial, Harris County Associate Judge Charley E. Prine, Jr. issued a ruling which included an injunction applicable only to William. It prohibits him from leaving his children alone with any male to whom the kids are not related by “blood or adoption.” So if, for example, William wants to visit his mother in the hospital (where she’s been for several weeks), he can’t leave his kids at home with his husband. As written, the injunction also prohibits male doctors, teachers and pastors from being alone with the children.

(via Chron.com)

According to experts in Texan family law, this ruling is completely unheard of. There’s been no allegation of abuse on the part of any party. The judge didn’t even resort to similarly-ugly (but at least legal) measures such as a ban on romantic partners of a custodial parent being present after certain hours, which would have forced Jim to move out of his own house. And in case you missed it, this totally illogical ruling will essentially make it impossible for William to act as a father to his own children: he’ll never be able to be sure he isn’t leaving them alone with an adult male at school, the doctor’s office, or should he  need a last-minute sitter. Unbelievable.

This is only one of a thousand ways in which DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act), and the lack of coherent family law practices throughout the country, harm families and present opportunities to discriminate against gay couples. The salt on this wound is that William and Jim are legally married. But thanks to DOMA and a Texas law prohibiting recognition of unions performed elsewhere, that marriage means nothing in their home state. Stories like this leave every gay dad ajd mom in the US shivering in their boots.

Take Action: Share this story to raise awareness about the destructive effects of DOMA on families. And while you’re at it, check the Freedom Index to find out about the protections available to gay couples in your state.