Why it matters: the new, gay Apple CEO

(Sorry, you’re going to have to give me just a few seconds to suppress the onslaught of “fruit” jokes trying to make their way out of my typin’ fingers. Ok.)

Who’s on top at Apple is unquestionably a decision that matters to everyone — whether you’re a shareholder in the world’s most powerful company or just love jamming with your ear buds in, Apple’s reach is pretty all-encompassing. But Felix Salmon makes a salient point about why the company’s new head, Tim Cook, is particularly important: This gay Apple exec is quite possibly the  most powerful in the business world, and that’s seeming more and more normal. Quoth Salmon (emphasis mine):

Apple big-wig Tim Cook (via Tech Crunch)

Certainly when it comes to gay role models, Cook is great: he’s the boring systems-and-processes guy, not the flashy design guru, and as such he cuts sharply against stereotype. He’s like Barney Frank in that sense: a super-smart, powerful and non-effeminate man who shows that being gay is no obstacle to any career you might want.

One of the issues here is that most news outlets cover Cook as part of their Apple story, and Cook’s sexuality is irrelevant to his role at Apple. And so the other story — the fact that the ranks of big-company CEOs have just become significantly more diverse — is being overlooked and ignored. And that’s bad for the gay and lesbian community more broadly.

The institution of the closet is one of fear — one where people would rather be ignored than noticed, because they fear the negative repercussions of being known to be gay. It’s an institution which Cook, like any gay man born in 1960, knows at first hand.

Salmon’s argument is both nuanced and important: for those of us in the “sexuality really doesn’t matter so why bother talking about it” camp, meaning most folks under age 35, it can be all too easy to forget how few and far between role models for gay youth are, and how important it is to talk about them. The fact that Tim Cook is gay is not, by any means, the reason he’s in the news, but to write out that part of his life is to leave out something very important about a very important man.

Take Action: Tell us about your unsung gay hero, the role model in you and your friends’ lives who never got enough credit for showing you how much you could accomplish regardless of who you love. Comments are the highest form of flattery!

Five Sports Stars Prove that Standing Up for your Gay* Friends is Incredibly Attractive

Far be it from us to objectify anyone: man, woman, gay, straight, or other in any of those categories, but this feature on Out.com really leaves no wiggle room on the matter: athletes who stand up for their gay friends are hot.

People who speak up for their gay friends are attractive.

Pictured: Ben Cohen, Hudson Taylor, Michael Irvin, Mike Chabala, and Nick Youngquest. Click through to read more about what these rad athletes are doing for their gay friends!

The world of sports has unfortunately been notoriously rough territory for LGBT folks — whether it’s Kobe Bryant slinging anti-gay slurs during a Laker’s game or the seemingly never-ending inappropriate public referendum on South African runner Caster Semenya‘s gender, major players both inside and outside the game have a tendency to make big-league competition an uncomfortable space for anyone perceived as outside the “norm” of heterosexuality. Women athletes take a lot of heat in the form of “accusation,” constantly having their sexuality questioned for enjoying traditionally “manly” pursuits in sports, especially if they’re any good. For men, you’ll more often see players throw around derogatory terms for a ref after a bad call or using homophobic language to goad opponents, furthering the linguistic barb that “gay = bad” more than actually trying to out peers.

In any case, the five men profiled by Out Magazine are taking a stand not only for their gay teammates, but to encourage a huge shift in the world of sports to make it a safe and accepting environment for LGBT players and fans. In a universe where those who stand up for gay friends are likely to be labeled gay themselves, which is still a major career liability, these guys are truly going above and beyond to show what friendship means. And Out is buying them sexy outfits and taking nice pictures of’em for their troubles. Right on.

While these guys are high-profile athletes in super dudely realms like wrestling and rugby, it doesn’t take a spot in the limelight to make a difference — even making it clear that your gay friends are welcome on the JV team or after-work kickball league can mean the world. When a straight friend stands up to say it’s stupid to make a fuss over sharing locker-rooms or calls out another player for using anti-gay language, other people listen: you don’t have a stake besides caring about your friends, and that makes your voice incredibly powerful.

And (sorry, we have to say it) what’s more attractive than power, especially when it’s used to be a great friend? We don’t have stats on this, but we would put money on potential dates of whatever gender taking notice of your efforts in the best way.

For goodness sake, look at those five dudes! Think they’re hurting for Saturday night plans??

Have you ever encountered a hostile environment for LGBT friends on the field? Did you do anything about it? Think we’re seeing things get better or worse in the world of professional sports? Have at it in the comments!

Does it matter if Dumbledore is gay?

The first answer to this question is “not today, Dumbledore died two movies ago and you should be standing in line at the movie theater rather than putzing around on the internet.” Fair enough! But in honor of the premier of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, we’re revisiting the (non)controversy that rocked the Potter-verse in October of 2007, and set the stage for the most fraught and compelling relationship in the venerable wizard’s life with best friend-cum-arch nemesis Gellert Grindelwald.

Facts first: J.K. Rowling “outed” Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore in one of the most nonchalant statements of its kind in our collective memory, at a stop at Carnegie Hall on her book tour:

“Dumbledore is gay,” she said, adding he was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, who he beat in a battle between good and bad wizards long ago.

Ellen lined up a whole magazine cover to say that! It’s not entirely fair to compare a fictional character’s coming out story against a real-world celebrity, but Dumbledore probably wins out in terms of international reach, Rowling’s career could have been hurt to the same extent as the comedienne’s, and the backlash was arguably no less severe. Still, in the ten years between the moments these two stepped out of the closet, the world had changed significantly. Consider the BBC’s report of the Carnegie Hall event:

The audience gasped, then applauded. “I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy,” she said.

“Falling in love can blind us to an extent,” she added, saying Dumbledore was “horribly, terribly let down” and his love for Grindelwald was his “great tragedy”.

And herein we arrive at the heart of our question: does it make a difference if the Headmaster wasn’t Hetero?

Not in many of the ways you might think. As Rowling’s response indicates, sexuality wasn’t a central part of Dumbledore’s character in the first six books of the Potter series; while she knew this intimate fact about her creation from the beginning, it never affected Dumbledore’s interaction with students at Hogwarts and simply didn’t merit mention in the world of the novels, which largely revolve around young Potter’s perspective. The revelation did nothing to besmirch the wizard’s image, and was essentially peripheral to his life as we, the readers, knew it. This is probably familiar territory for many of us who have experienced a friend coming out. It can be a lot to digest at first, but our friends are still the same people regardless of who they fall in love with.

But it did matter. It mattered a lot to some people. For many gay and transgender youth, there are precious few real  LGBT people to serve as mentors, which leaves only a handful of positive role models in popular media to look up to. The knowledge that the most powerful wizard in the known world — an unqualified good guy — is widely known to be gay sends a pretty strong message that you can do good in the world, whatever your sexuality. The uphill battle in California to have basic LGBT history taught in public schools has been a traumatic one, and those are real people who made significant contributions to society! Gay folks simply don’t get to see a lot of people like them in the  news, movies, and television watched by the general public. That visibility, and the casual acceptance of a gay character by a beloved author, was probably a breath of fresh air to many of our LGBT friends.

And as Rowling pointed out in that initial interview, it mattered to Dumbledore. We’ve all been there: making lousy decisions because we fancy a friend. The stakes were particularly high for young Albus, who was blinded to Gellert’s megalomaniacal aspirations by his crush, but the situation would have been identical had he been straight and befriended a powerful dark witch rather than Grindelwald. The people Albus Dumbledore loved deeply impacted his life, and loving this particular dude was a major part of that. Anybody’s understanding of the character would be incomplete without an understanding of the way his feelings were manipulated by his friend and romantic interest; if we never knew Dumbledore was gay, we might have missed the heart-breaking complexity of his relationship with Grindelwald.

Interestingly, Dumbledore is not the only one in the Hogwarts halls to have perhaps found a gay identity important: the actor playing the werewolf professor Remus Lupin believed the character to be gay until he married a witch, Tonks, in a later installment of the series. Again, this didn’t ever come up in the text of the Potter canon, but was revealed in a behind-the-scenes interview. Just another case of sexuality mattering mostly in the eye of the beholder, and not reflecting job-performance or moral fiber.

So as far as we’re concerned, Dumbledore can crush on whoever he wants and still be the greatest Wizard to ever sport half-moon spectacles. But it’s nice to know the truth — we all want to understand what motivates our friends.

Did Dumbledore’s revelation have an impact on you or your friends? Any thoughts on how this translates to your real-life friendships? Get the party started in the comments!

Burning Questions: Excerpt From Our Site Feature!

Do you have any burning questions you’re just dying to ask? I do, and they are all about Jennifer Lopez’s workout regimen (which Friendfactor sadly does not have any insider information on. Yet!). If you have burning questions about gay* people though, it can be awkward to ask them. That’s why we have our Burning Questions tool, where straight people can ask questions about gay* people in a non-judgmental environment. Here’s an example question, and some great responses from our Ffriends!

QUESTION: What’s the right reaction when someone tells me they’re gay?

Answer from Andrew Bridges:

If it’s casual, you don’t have to say much of anything other than letting them know you’re a supporter. If they are in the process of coming out and you can tell it was difficult, say something like “I’m glad that you trust me enough to share this. It doesn’t change how much I care about you. And I believe that increased honesty and openness will make us closer friends.”

Or, if you like you don’t read anything over ten characters (in which case why have you gotten so far in this blog post?), an answer from Morgan Britt:

“Cool.”

Check out other burning questions (and more responses to this question) here!