Gay Catholic comes out at age 54, shares his journey to acceptance

Ron Bates, a now-openly Gay Catholic man who grew up in rural Minnesota and spent decades trying to repress his sexuality, is bravely sharing his story in the hopes of preventing others from experiencing the same sort of pain. Due to the extreme social pressures of his surroundings, Bates married a woman and stayed in the closet until age 54. Priests told him acting on his desires would send him to hell. His community made it clear they agreed.

Can you imagine going through torture like this just because of who you are?

via deeppencil.com

My marriage never worked.

The sexuality was mostly repulsive, and that was communicated indirectly to my ex-wife. That is the most unfair part. She was one of the innocent victims in the masquerade of “I’m straight.”

For years and years, I would prostrate myself on the floor and ask God to change me. Maybe if I just pray more, fast more, do more “works of charity,” the male attraction will go away.

After more than 30 years of trying to “burn” the evil out of me, I finally came out at age fifty four. God finally broke through to my heart of hearts and said, “I love you just as you are. You are praying for healing, but you are not sick!”

(via The Star Tribune)

Bates is lucky enough to have redemption at the end of his story. Let us all hope that more young religious folks can hear the same message — you are loved just as you are — and avoid the crippling shame that so often afflicts people in the closet. The more brave stories like this we can tell to our straight, religious friends, the faster we can leverage the trend of religious support for equal rights into real change.

Take Action: Share your story of reconciling religion with support of everyone’s sexuality, or share this story with religious friends to change hearts and minds and support your gay friends.

Friendfactor: One of Yahoo’s Most Inspiring Acts of 2010!

What do Lady Gaga, hardboiled eggs and & Friendfactor all have in common? Yes, really. We’re all on Yahoo’s recently released “2010 Year in Review” lists!

All of us at Friendfactor are thrilled to make the “Top 10 Inspiring Acts of 2010” list alongside some great company. The article features Brian Elliot, our Founder, and Patty Buckley, our COO, and gives a short history of Friendfactor and the milestones we’ve surpassed. The article quotes Brian:

“I believe we can be the game changers. We could help my LGBT friends achieve the same support and speed up change. Friends don’t let friends be second-class citizens.”

Thanks to all of you, we certainly made a splash in 2010. But we’re just getting started…