Why not just say “gay”? Your handy guide to decoding LGBT+

Many thanks to awesome Ffriend Will Cheval Jr. for help with this post!

No, “LGBT” isn’t a special Morse Code signal; it’s a way to “simplify” the types of folks included in the gay, or LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi, and trans), community. (With that many letters, could have fooled us too.) But these labels are important to a lot of folks, so it’s worth a little research to understand the answer to the question, “What is LGBT?”

It probably seems a lot simpler to just refer to all our non-hetero friends as “gay” and be done with it. So why are lots of folks insistent on a different, particular term? As your friend navigates their new identity of “not straight,” they’re going to find a lot of different communities, identities, and ideas. It’s going to be hard, and settling on a label they’re comfortable with is a part of figuring out who they are, and sharing it with others.

And now, the terms: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and Ally.

• Gay is the typically used term to identify both guys and gals who are sexually attracted to someone of the same gender.
• Lesbian, on the other hand, refers only to women who are attracted to other women.
• Bisexual means a person is attracted to both men and women. No, it doesn’t mean your bi friend is constantly involved in torrid 3-ways and orgies, or that they can’t settle down permanently with one dude or lady. Just that they’re attracted to both sexes. Read the rest of this entry »

Modern Families

In a profile ostensibly inspired by new census data (but probably actually inspired by how much all humans like Modern Family) the LA Times reported today on “nontraditional households.”

The article opens with an in-depth look at 4-year-old Kate Eisenpresser-Davis and her “three mommies.” (Just to clarify: “three mommies” is a quote from a child.) Lisa Eisenpresser, her current partner, and her ex all share custody of Kate.

The three-parent family portrait introduces new California census data showing that “the percentage of Californians who live in ‘nuclear family’ households — a married man and a woman raising their children — has dropped again over the last decade, to 23.4% of all households.” The shift towards nontraditional households (gay and lesbian couples with children, single-parents, blended families, childless couples, etc.) is depicted positively:

[T]he increasing diversity of American households should not “be portrayed as the collapse of married life,” said Stephanie Coontz, director of research and public education at the nonprofit, nonpartisan Council on Contemporary Families. […]

Indeed, interviews with numerous families in Southern California reveal a generation of parents and children who still view the family as the building block of society but no longer view the nuclear family as the ideal. By and large, those interviewed insisted that their non-nuclear lives do not reflect a weakening of society but a fluidity and complexity that echoes a modern world.

What do you think of the growing popularity of nontraditional families? Do you think it’s significant? What impact, if any, do you think it will have? Comment away!

And if you want to support your gay friends’ right to marry, call your senator here. The New York senate still hasn’t voted on the freedom to marry bill—there’s still time to make your voice heard!